


Short and Sweet

by coliei



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Other, There's Nurseydex implied in the background, This started out as "let's dump some Tango headcanons on a page", if you squint reeeeally hard, it ended up as "Chowder/Bitty bonding time"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 00:05:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8918809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coliei/pseuds/coliei
Summary: Tango is a fan of a certain NHL team. Bitty and Chowder are SHOCKED and OFFENDED.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Piehead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piehead/gifts).



> Swawesome Santa 2016, for Piehead.  
> This is partially inspired by my love of Tango, partially inspired by events in Real Life Hockey, partially inspired by someone using the nickname "weird desert kid" to describe Toronto Maple Leafs rookie Auston Matthews.  
> The Las Vegas NHL team name was announced as the Golden Knights in late November, 2016. Here, I changed it to a year earlier to coincide with Tango's first year on the team. Vegas, you get your team a whole year early. You're welcome.

August 24, 2015

“Okay, Tadpoles, you have had a week to learn the team. It’s time for us to learn about you… Stand on the S!”

“But Rans, I thought we weren’t ever ever EVER supposed to step on the S? Otherwise we’ll never graduate and our shots will always miss and the jock strap in the shower with come into our dorms while we’re sleeping and—“

“This is the one exception, Tango. To the S!”  
As Bitty watched the taddies make their way into the center of the room, Ransom shot a glance at Holster, and they shouted together:

“TAD-POLE HOT-SEAT! TAD-POLE HOT-SEAT! TAD-POLE HOT-SEAT!” They flung themselves around the room, whooping at the rest of the team joining in the chant. Holster raised his hand and executed a perfect conductor’s cutoff, and the chanting ceased. Except for Nursey and Dex, who were bickering in the corner.

“… and I’m telling YOU, they’re _pollywogs_. That’s what baby frogs are called. They are the baby frogs.”  
“Dex, bro, they’re tadpoles. No one says pollywogs.”  
“Just because you’ve been so sheltered doesn’t mean everyone is the same as you. Get some new perspective, yeesh.”

“Okay, fine, Rans, back me up here. Team tadpoles, yes?”

“Bro, I’m not getting involved, you two work it out. We don’t need another roaches/person debate. Even though a person in the attic would be way less terrifying.”  
“Tomayto, tomahto, my dear Ransom. But that’s a lovely idea for our first question…”

Holster grinned and boomed, “TANGO! Step forward!”

The freshman sitting next to Bitty nervously made his way to the center of the locker room. There were four freshmen this year, and Bitty had barely learned anything about any of them except Tango. He still wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“State your name and origin!”

Tango opened his mouth, closed it, and frowned. “Does that mean, like, my entire family tree? Because I don’t think I packed that…”

Holster and Ransom exchanged a glance.

“No, buddy, it’s just a fancy way of saying where you’re from.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Ransom cleared his throat and tried again.

“State your name and origin!”

“I’m Tony, I’m from Nevada.”

“Mr. Tony, you shall henceforth be known as Tango!”

“Don’t you guys already call me that?”  
“Shut up! Gentlemen, ask Tony any question you’d like!”

“And you don’t have to answer anything you really don’t want to,” Bitty chimed in. “If something makes you uncomfortable you can veto that too.”  
“Um, kay.”

Nursey piped up, “What do you call baby frogs? Tadpoles or pollywogs?”

“VETO!” The captains shouted before Tango could answer.

“What about roaches or person? Would you rather find 10,000 cockroaches in your attic or one person living there?”

“Uh, I guess a person? I’m not a big fan of bugs.”

Ransom hissed “yessssss” and fistbumped Lardo.

“What’s your favorite color?” Chowder asked.

“Blue maybe?” Tango shrugged.

“Like, navy blue, or teal blue, like, Sharks blue???”  
Tango squinted at Chowder, who was bouncing his legs in anticipation.

“… Teal? Is that the right answer?”

“Yes! I’m so glad! I was afraid I was going to have to disown you,” Chowder beamed.

“Um.”

“Next question!” said Ransom. “On behalf of Mr. Birkholtz here, who is your favorite 30 Rock character?”

“What’s that?”  
Holster gasped dramatically, and while he was furiously gesturing with his hands and silently opening and closing his mouth, Nursey cut in.

“It’s this show that just stars Dwayne Johnson as thirty different characters. That’s the joke. 30 Rock.”  
Holster found his voice. “Okay first of all Nursey _how dare you_ besmirch the name of Liz Lemon in this way. Second, Tango. Come ON! You’ve NEVER seen 30 Rock?”  
“… no…”

“I know what we’re watching on all the roadies now.”

The rest of the team groaned.

“Two more questions for Tango!”

Lardo raised her hand.  
“What’s your favorite NHL team?”  
“Oh, I’m from Las Vegas, probably the Aces.”  
The locker room suddenly quieted, and Lardo glanced at Bitty nervously. Bitty barely registered the look, or the fact that Chowder had a small, blank smile plastered on his face that was usually reserved for lacrosse bros making sexist remarks towards the volleyball team.

Tango blathered, on, unaware. “Bitty says you all met Kent Parson, that’s really cool! I hope he’ll stop by again. That’d be ‘swawesome!”

Bitty’s blood dropped its temperature from “Samwell in January” to “Antarctic Winter”. The silence in the locker room stretched on, as Tango stood on the S with a benignly vacant expression. Finally, Holster cleared his throat.  
“Okay, last question everyone, make it count!”

_You know, he’s just a tadpole, he might be redeemable. By way of bribery with baked goods. I’m not entirely above that._ Bitty raised his hand. “What’s your favorite type of pie?”

“Is that in our diet plan? Is this another trick question?”

“Oh, hon, no. You remember the tour you took? I made that pie we had as a snack. I’m just asking so I can make more of it in the future.”  
“Oh okay! Well, that’s actually one of the only pies I’ve ever eaten. It’s usually too hot to bake at my house? Except in the winter and then it’s so dry.”

“Tango. Sweetheart. How many slices have you eaten?”

“Um, five, maybe? Also, are there types of pie other than apple and pumpkin?”  
“ _Oh, HONEY._ ”

As chaos erupted around the locker room (Ransom and Holster were debating whether this was a finable offense, Nursey and Dex were arguing whether pumpkin or apple was better), Bitty resignedly shook his head. There was no way he couldn’t adopt this tadpole now. And if he happened to change Tango’s mind about the Aces, that wasn’t so bad, either.

 

\---

 

September 20, 2015

 “Bitty, Ransom changed the name of the butter fund jar to ‘Bit’s PSL fund’. What’s a Pee-Es-El?”

“Oh, Tango, you beautiful tropical fish.”

 

\---

 

October 13, 2015

“Hey Bits? Can I talk to you?”  
Bitty looked up from his French vocabulary to see Chowder hovering in his doorway.

“Sure, Chowder, what’s up? Is this about Nursey and Dex again?”

“No, they’ve actually been fine lately. Which is weird. I should look into that.” Chowder frowned. “But that’s not why I’m here, it’s about Tango.”  
“What about him? And I’m not sure if I’m qualified to talk about this… could you ask Ransom or Holster?”  
“They wouldn’t get it. It’s about how he likes the Aces, and I know you don’t like them or Kent Parson, which makes sense, I don’t like Cait’s ex so I don’t expect you to like Jack’s—“

Bitty quietly dropped his flashcards as Chowder continued.

“—so I figured you’d be able to commiserate. The Aces are the Sharks’ biggest rivals. I’ve been trying to ignore how Tango likes them, but it’s stuck in my head and I can’t get around it! I’ve been trying to channel it at practice, I’ve improved at stopping his shots, but I don’t like not being friends with all the taddies!”

As much as he wanted to deny it, Chowder had a point. Bitty had let two of Tango’s “educational pies” overbrown accidentally-on-purpose, and he was sick of denting the sink every time he dropped a dish when Tango brought up Kent Parson’s point streak.  He wanted so badly to take Tango under his wing, lord knows the kid could use some guidance with everyday life, never mind college and an NCAA sport, but it was so hard to love him when he had to look past this. Chowder kept going.

“I can’t even always be around him in the locker room because I can’t touch his stuff because he put that Aces sticker on his bag! And Dex keeps chucking his stuff around for fun. I want to like him but it is just SO HARD and it is IMPACTING MY GAME and UGH.”

Chowder dramatically flopped down onto Bitty’s bed.

“I’m frustrated too, but I don’t know if there’s anything we can do… I guess we can ask Dex to stop flinging the gear around?”  
“Like you asked him to stop needling Nursey last year?” Chowder quirked a half smile from under his Sharks hat. “I think what you said then was good, not everyone can be friends all the time. I’ve been really trying to think about that.”  
“I said that?” Bitty paused. The Nursey and Dex situation had partially worked itself out over time, but it was a separate issue. There was only a problem on one side of the issue here, Bitty realized, and it wasn’t anyone’s responsibility but his and Chowder’s to resolve it.

“Chowder, I think you’ve really grown this year.” Bitty smiled as Chowder looked up, and continued, “As a goalie, and as a leader on this team. Thank you for reminding me what I said to y’all… I know you came in here looking for me to help you, but I think it ended up the other way around.”

Chowder pulled himself up off the bed and grinned as Bitty continued.  
“Jack was nice to have across the hall last year, but you’re a pretty ‘swawesome substitute.”  
“Bits, that’s so sweet!”

“Now shoo, before I get sappier! We can tolerate that weird tadpole, as long as we all have each other’s backs!”

 

\---

 

November 14, 2015

“Have you noticed how Tango really really looks like Auston Matthews?” Holster whispered.

“You see it too?” Ransom snorted. “He certainly is a weird desert kid. Maybe there’s something to be said for growing up in the Southwest.”

“Yeah, you know, they both really bring the HEAT to every game.”

“… that’s terrible.”  
“What, you can’t SAND my puns?”

“That’s a fine. I don’t care that you’re my co-captain.”

“Guess my humor is too DRY for you.”  
“Ooooh my GOD, DAD.”

 

\---

 

December 1, 2015

“What type of pie do all y’all’s families make? Any recipes I forgot that I need to try next year?”

“Oh, Bitty, I was googling things and I found this lemon one with a saltine crust, I think it’s called a beach pie? It sounds like it shouldn’t work but I think it totally would.”  
“Atlantic beach? I haven’t tried making that, but I could give it a shot.”  
_And it would be perfect for you_ , Bitty added mentally. _A pie that’s tangy for Tango. With just a bit of salt_. _I should tweet that_.

As Bitty pulled off his oven mitts and tapped open the twitter app, he caught sight of a story at the top of his feed.

  _Las Vegas Aces Approve Name Change: Meet the Golden Knights._

“Huh. Hey, Tango, what do you think about your team’s name change?” Bitty had made more of a conscious effort to talk to Tango about the Aces. He had read somewhere that bringing it up on his own terms would make him more willing to discuss the topic when it was out of his control, and figured it was worth a shot, plus it was an opportunity to bond with the taddies.

“Ehr aah mah faahvih heem ahee-or.”  
“Swallow, then try again.”  
Tango finished chewing, then spoke. “I said they’re not my favorite team anymore.”

“What? Then who is???”  
“The Jets.”

“… Tony, have you ever been to Winnipeg?”

“No, but their name is the shortest in the league now.”  
Bitty’s brow furrowed as Tango continued munching on his slice of leftover pumpkin.

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Well, that’s why I liked the Aces! Then they changed their name, and I can’t support an organization that advocates for a longer name. It’s just not ethical.”

_What._

“What.”

Just then, Chowder clattered down the stairs.

“Hi Bitty! Hey, Tango.” He gave a small smile. Chowder hadn’t completely warmed up to Tango, but he was getting there.

“Tango was just telling me about how the Jets are now his favorite team,” Bitty said as he turned away from the table and gestured at Tango with his best “why is he like this” face. Tango didn’t notice.

“Yeah, since the Aces changed their name. It’s too long now.”  
Chowder raised an eyebrow. “So, the team with the shortest name in the NHL is your favorite?”

“Exactly!” Tango said cheerfully. “Speaking of names, I gotta go work on my homework, I need a catchy title for my English essay. Thanks for the pie, Bitty! Thanks for understanding me, Chowder!”  
As Tango left, leaving behind a wake of confusion in the Haus kitchen, Bitty muttered under his breath to Chowder “Don’t be so sure about that.”

“Hey, I know you guys used to joke about not getting me either,” Chowder smirked at Bitty. “I’m just glad he’s come around a bit. I guess I can tolerate the Jets.”

“I can’t imagine what you are referring to, Mr. Chow, we have ALWAYS loved and accepted you and your weird habits. Even when they’re unhygienic. I swear I am getting rid of that couch soon.”

“Aw, Bitty, c’mon, you can’t get rid of it! It’s my ritual! Haven’t I grown enough as a leader on the team, or whatever?” Chowder’s smile twinkled. Bitty made a mental note to ask Farmer whether it was unfair to use orthodontics for a bit of extra sparkle the next time he saw her. Chowder batted his lashes.

“Well, maybe you’ll come around on your own, too. I won’t get rid of it… yet. No bets on next semester, though.”

“Aw, BITS!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr, it's stelleralcid! Come yell about fictional and real hockey with me. Or tell me to go do my homework. I'm posting this instead of studying for my final exam tomorrow.  
> Thanks to Alessandra for supporting me when I cry about hockey.


End file.
